k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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