I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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