its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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