She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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