So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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