Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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