ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
two words: eviction party
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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