whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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