She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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