garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
cat food counts as protein by the way
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
