you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize