I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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