Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
