don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize