This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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