You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
