Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
