He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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