if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
