my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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