He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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