you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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