i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
