maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
