Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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