It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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