I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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