You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
