oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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