i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
