I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I fill condoms, not promises.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
