i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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