is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
