His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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