come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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