Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
