woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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