Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
