DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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