you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
3pm strippers are depressing
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
