did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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