Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
