Buhtt sex?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize