he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
