You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
