There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
