i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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