Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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