return my video game
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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