My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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