Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
