he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he was CRYING into my vagina
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
