I want to have your abortion
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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