Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
