If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
