Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
