we have pet lesbian snakes
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
