I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
