Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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