Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
