At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize