Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
