OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
