Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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