I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
