Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
