I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
