her vagine was all disorganized.
he puts the penis in happiness.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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