C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
