I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
